A Message From The Quorum Of The Eighty Plus

📷Elder Oscar H. Meyer, Council Of The Eighty Plus

My dear brothers and sisters, as we near the savior's second coming and the end of my life sinister forces have redoubled their effort to enable our fall from the old Mormon ship of Zion, leaving us to flounder in the depths of inquiry deprived of our imaginings of becoming as god is. Illuminating influences cause many to lose their footing. Our detractors are slick causing many to slip! 

Sincere sinister forces slither hither and yon through the depths. Our prophet and apostles have now authorized  topical "inoculations" "tailored for the rising generation" to guard against the "shock" of historical disclosures generated by smart ass scholars.

Constant vigilance and fellowship muscle are needed to shape up or ship out those undermining member faith in canonized Mormon beliefs, whether true or false! Oh the wickedless designs of those unsavory detractors seeking to undermine and destroy the one and only true sect of Mormonism on the face of the planet! Brothers and sisters, by NOT giving ear to the purveyors of historical facts your faith will remain pure and secure.

Jesus said, "If ye were blind, ye should have no sin: but now ye say, We see; therefore your sin remains."

So shut tight your eyes and ears dear brothers and sisters, that you see not and plausible deniability remains yours come judgment day.